At the end of 2025, over a span of just a few months, our family celebrated the lives and mourned the losses of five beautiful people who were our matriarchs, mentors and neighbors, ages 44, 63, 67, 68 and 81. Four were mothers, one a son and brother, all beloved in their own spheres and the centers of their families. Each had deep roots across Georgia, including Atlanta.
Their five funerals took place in smaller towns and rural communities across the state. One thing that stayed with me after the services was the act of “pulling over.”
In proper procession fashion, we lined up our cars and drove down the roads, following one another with lights and flashers on. It was striking and beautiful to see vehicles on the opposite side of the road from pickup trucks, to small sedans and everything in between, fully pulled over and parked, waiting for the dearly departed and their families to pass. This isn’t required by law in Georgia, but in many small and rural towns, it’s a common courtesy.
In a fast-paced, media-driven culture that often tries to divide us, it made me pause and realize that those drivers didn’t know anything about the ages, beliefs, or stories of the people passing by, and they may well have held deeply differing views, but they paused anyway, recognizing a shared humanity and honoring the dignity of lives lost. A few weeks ago, a colleague of mine who lives in a small town outside of Atlanta lost her father. He was a proud member of the military who served our country and his fellow citizens for decades, and she shared that in his procession, people didn’t just pull over; some got out of their cars to salute as her family passed by.
The respect we witnessed in these Georgia towns feels like something we could and should be doing more of across our communities in everyday life.
Imagine if we paused like that with all neighbors, not just in death.
Yes, pulling over for a funeral procession takes only a few minutes, while doing so for each other in daily life can require patience, humility and attention, but it begins with the same pause. What if we offered grace as our neighbors raised their kids imperfectly, questioned their faiths, struggled with health decisions, or figured out who they were? Suppose we stopped judging what people read, how they find health information, or what and where they eat meals, and focused instead on understanding their circumstances? Could we do better at watching out for each other’s children at parks and schools, listening when someone shares worries about rent or groceries and helping connect people to the services they need?
Even though many days it can feel like the world around us highlights division, the truth is that Americans share far more in common than we hear about, and there are groups across the country working to foster this. This year, I’ve been impressed with organizations studying and sharing balanced information from many viewpoints to help bridge divides and build understanding.
Recent research from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and PerryUndem found wide agreement across beliefs and groups, showing that more than 80 percent of U.S. adults say it’s very important to feel safe in their communities, and large majorities believe everyone should have the opportunity to be healthy and have access to good schools. Almost all respondents (94 percent) said a person’s zip code should not be the reason why they can or cannot access healthy food, good jobs, or affordable housing.
Other groups are encouraging this same approach of pausing, listening and looking for common ground. The Constructive Dialogue Institute has been helping people communicate across differences and build cultures of respect in workplaces, on campuses, and in community settings. In government spaces, The Future Caucus is bringing together young policymakers with different views across the country to find shared solutions that strengthen the operations of our states, cities and towns.
If you listen only to the loudest voices, you might think everything is one way or the other, this side or that side. But the reality is, most of us want and work for the same foundations for our families and communities.
As we continue moving through 2026, I find myself asking: will we wait to “pull over” and offer respect for our neighbors only when we’re driving past their caskets? Or can we offer grace now while walking in our neighborhoods, workplaces and faith communities, remembering that everyone is simply trying to get through this life the best they can?
We don’t have to wait for loss to show respect and honor others’ views. We can pause for each other today with the same simple act of grace that can turn a roadside courtesy into a way of living, together.
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